We found out in February 2014 that we were pregnant and expecting a little girl in October. We were so excited and couldn't wait for our little bundle of joy to arrive. My pregnancy went okay. There were definitely some unpleasant experiences, for instance having kidney stones and getting pregnancy carpal tunnel. But I didn't have anything else to compare it to, so in my mind it wasn't terrible. I didn't have morning sickness and to me that was fantastic!
At my 20 week ultrasound we found out our baby was measuring small, so my doctor pushed back my due date by 2 weeks and had us come in for another ultrasound a couple weeks later to see if the baby was progressing like she should.
This second ultrasound was the scariest thing I've ever been through. While the technician was taking the measurements, she was very quiet. When she left to go get the doctor, I had this terrible feeling that something wasn't right. The doctor came in and gave us the bad news. Our baby wasn't growing at the rate she would like and she wasn't sure why. She told us that it could be a bad placenta but that the fluid was extremely low and she had some big concerns.
She was very concerned with preeclampsia and told us what to symptoms we should look for. Unfortunately, the only cure for preeclampsia is to deliver the baby because preeclampsia puts mama and baby at risk if the doctors don't act quickly. She gave us the statistics of a baby surviving at 22 weeks and said that if we could make it to 25 weeks, our baby's chance increased to 50% of survival. The longer she stayed in, the better her chances would be.
Then she prepared us for the worst and said that there was a chance we could lose her. Kevin and I just sat there, holding each other and crying. We didn't want to lose our precious baby so we opted to run some tests to help the doctor determine if there was a virus causing the baby to have low fluid and small growth or if it was possibly down syndrome. Both tests came back negative.
We asked all of our family and friends to pray for our little baby girl and the response was overwhelming. People who I hadn't seen or talked to in years were reaching out to us to let us know they were praying for our little family. And so many people gave us stories of hope by sharing experiences they had of loved ones in a similar situation with positive outcomes.
I went in for regular ultrasounds to make sure our baby still had a good heartbeat and for them to measure the fluid. Miracles do happen because miraculously the fluid was measuring at great levels! Our doctor even made the comment at week 27 that she didn't know what was going on with that one ultrasound because now everything looked good, consistently, for several follow up ultrasounds.
Things were going great...I felt good and our baby was growing at her own consistent pace. We knew we would have a smaller baby but if that was the only concern then we would take it. Who doesn't love a teeny tiny baby?!
I was due on October 22nd...so when labor day rolled around I still had 7 1/2 weeks to go. We got together at my Grandpa Grow's house and it was the first time in a long time that almost everybody came for a BBQ. My grandpa's health was slowly decreasing and he had just come home from the hospital, yet again. So this was a 'welcome home / we love you' BBQ hoping it would help his spirits. The next day was a busy one for me at work; and a bit stressful. I woke up feeling like I was getting a cold. And throughout the day I just felt worse and worse. I had a terrible sinus headache and tylenol was just not cutting it. All I wanted to do was go home and crawl into bed.
At 4pm, I got a text message from my mom saying that Grandpa Grow was in the hospital and that he was fading fast and only had a few hours left to live. This wasn't too much of a shock because seeing him the day before, Kevin said that he didn't think he would be around much longer. Being in the line of work that Kevin is in...he can tell when someone is getting close to death. Even though I wasn't shocked, I was still very sad and upset. I knew that I couldn't handle going to the hospital with the rest of the family. So I went home and tried to compose myself while I received updated messages from my family on Grandpa's status.
I decided to go to bed early because I was still feeling awful. My dad called around 10pm to tell us that Grandpa had just passed. Being pregnant didn't help with my feelings of sadness and loss, and I ended up crying throughout the night. My persistent headache did not let up either, so I was up every 4 hours taking more tylenol hoping that I could get some relief. Each time I got up I noticed that my eyes were extremely puffy. I remembered that a symptom of preeclampsia was swelling around the eyes, so each time I got up, I was hoping the swelling would start to diminish but to no avail. When Kevin got up for work, I asked him to take my blood pressure. I had a bad feeling that it was going to be high. He took it twice and the second time was even higher than the first time. So we called the doctor's office and waited for the on call doctor to call us back.
After 30 minutes of waiting, Kevin told me he was taking me in. He told me to pack a bag just in case and I was thinking "no...they'll send me home. You just watch." But I listened to my wise husband and packed a few things just to be safe. We got to Labor and Delivery and they immediately started hooking me up to machines and taking my blood pressure every 15 minutes. About the time we got checked in, the on call doctor called and said we were in the right place because he would have sent us in anyways. My blood pressure wasn't going down on its own, so they gave me some medicine to help lower it but it didn't do anything. They told me if my blood pressure doesn't get under control, they are going to have to take the baby right away. I wanted to wait as long as possible because I was only 33 weeks along. So I was praying that the medicine would finally work. They decided to try another medicine and that one worked. So in my mind I was thinking, good...they won't be delivering my baby any time soon. WRONG.
Because of my other symptoms; persistent headache that won't go away and swelling around my eyes; combined with my high blood pressure I did indeed have preeclampsia. Kevin had the difficult task of calling my dad, who had just lost his father, to let him know that his daughter was in the hospital with preeclampsia. My mom and younger brother came right away to sit with us while the doctors ran test after test after test. A representative from the NICU came in to tell us what to expect should we have to deliver our baby this early. The whole time she was talking, I kept thinking to myself...we won't need to know any of this because we aren't delivering my baby today or tomorrow. (I was in a little bit of denial).
They admitted me and moved me into a delivery room and told me I wasn't leaving without having a baby and that I had to keep my blood pressure down. They had me hooked up to a machine that checked my blood pressure every 15 minutes and if it was high it gave off a sound. So they told me I was only allowed to think happy thoughts. My grandpa had just passed away and I wasn't allowed to think about it because every time I did my blood pressure would shoot up and then the sirens would go off. Kevin monitored my phone use so that I wasn't responding to work emails too much or on Facebook for very long because both were causing my blood pressure to spike. I was trying to keep everyone updated on Facebook, but every time I would look at comments from my family and friends I would see posts about my grandpa and that would send me into tears all over again. Kevin had his work cut out for him!
They gave me the first steroid shot to help with the development of the baby's lungs. That was when it hit me that we were delivering a premature baby. Our goal was to make it 48 hours before having to deliver so that they could administer both shots so our baby's lungs would get the best chance possible. Kevin's parents came by to see how we were doing and to bring Kevin some additional things to make our "stay" at the hospital a little nicer since we were going to be there for several days.
They put me on this medicine called MAGNESIUM which helped prevent me from having a seizure due to the preeclampsia. The doctor explained it to me this way after I told her I watch Downton Abbey "Remember what happened to Sybil after she delivered her baby? She had a seizure and died. This is what we are trying to prevent." That makes you feel all warm and fuzzy, now doesn't it! They told me this medicine had a bad side affect because it makes you feel like you have the flu. Boy, was that an understatement! I didn't feel like I necessarily had the flu but I felt so out of it. I couldn't focus my eyes on anything. So when I had visitors come, I had to talk to them with my eyes closed, otherwise it felt like the room was spinning. The next morning they took me down for an ultrasound and the medicine made me so weak that I couldn't even stand up by myself. When my doctor saw me after the ultrasound she said I looked "terrible"and we all laughed because she didn't mean it that way. But it was true.
Our baby was only measuring 2 lbs 12 oz but she was 33 weeks gestation so our doctor recommended we deliver her the next morning since I wasn't looking good. We agreed and started preparing for the delivering. I had a 50/50 chance of delivering the baby without a C-section but with the magnesium, I wasn't close to being able to deliver on my own. So we went in for a C-section at 10:00am Friday morning.
Our sweet little Charley was born at 10:40am on September 5, 2014. She was 2 lbs 11 oz and 15 1/2 inches long. I got to see her for a split second before they rushed her to NICU to start working on her. After our doctor was done stitching me up, she took Kevin's phone and got some pictures of her for me so I had something to look at. Kevin was able to go in and see her. She is a beauty.
The cute NICU nurses took this picture and made me a scrapbook page so I would have a picture of her in my room since I wasn't able to be with her. She needed very little oxygen from the start and was and continues to be our strong little fighter.
I was able to touch her for the first time a few hours after delivery. She was so small that she had to stay in an isolate.
We were able to start "Kangaroo Kare" the day after she was born. I was so excited to be able to hold my sweet little baby. I was afraid of dropping her because she was so tiny but I soon became comfortable handling her myself without the help of the nurses.
I was in the hospital during my grandpa's funeral so I wasn't able to attend. And even though I had delivered my baby girl, my blood pressure was still a concern (I was on the magnesium for 4 days), so I wasn't able to mourn for my grandpa until I went home. But I know my grandpa was on the other side, helping my sweet little girl come to our family. Her birth will always remind me of my sweet Grandpa Russ.
Charley was in the NICU for 4 weeks. She continued to grow and amaze her doctors and nurses with how strong she is. I wasn't able to breastfeed her; I pumped every 3 hours for the first 2 weeks but my milk never came in. So she was put on formula in the hospital and I believe she was able to come home sooner because of this. We watched a baby that shared her room struggle with latching on while breastfeeding and it kept him in the hospital longer.
Charley gave us this sweet picture the day before she came home. We joked that she found out she was coming home and that was the reason for this smile ;)
She continues to thrive and amaze us! At 3 months, she's almost 8 lbs and we just adore her. We are so thankful for all of the blessings and prayers we were given on her behalf. She is our little miracle.
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